Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you end up 10 steps back from where you started? Or you get distracted and forget about the grilled cheese sandwich on the stove and the only thing that reminds you is the billowing smoke coming from the kitchen, and in a panic you grab the pan and throw it into the sink and now the whole entire house smells like burnt cheese and bread? Well, the last month has certainly been that in our house. In my last post I mentioned that dad's cancer was most likely back, we had to wait for a PET scan to tell us exactly what is going on. The revelation came this past Monday when the doctor's informed us and him that the cancer is indeed back and progressing through his lung, and that there is no form of treatment available that will change the progression of the disease. Dad had a hard time understanding the doctor, whom had a very thick european accent, and it wasn't until Jeff and I asked him after the doctor had left to get the chief oncologist, if he understood what he had been told that he did not know his cancer was back. He thought that it was only about his cracked rib so we had to inform him of the return of the original tumor plus 2 more lesions. When he asked what they were going to do about it, our response was: "nothing", the first sign of acknowledgement and anger set in.
The oncologist came in and reaffirmed what the fellowship doctor had said and basically said that the radiation gave him 2 years so that was good. Now we venture into the disease spreading and home care and eventually maybe even palliative care.
As I look at dad today and see his weariness, exhaustion and lack of colour I am sure that he will not fight too hard as his comment at the restaurant the other day reflected his real true outlook:
"Well guys, I guess they are going to slow the planet down long enough for me to get off since it's my turn!"
It with that comment that I will end this blog post today. It really sucks when it smells like a burnt grilled cheese.
The oncologist came in and reaffirmed what the fellowship doctor had said and basically said that the radiation gave him 2 years so that was good. Now we venture into the disease spreading and home care and eventually maybe even palliative care.
As I look at dad today and see his weariness, exhaustion and lack of colour I am sure that he will not fight too hard as his comment at the restaurant the other day reflected his real true outlook:
"Well guys, I guess they are going to slow the planet down long enough for me to get off since it's my turn!"
It with that comment that I will end this blog post today. It really sucks when it smells like a burnt grilled cheese.
